Bridging a generational divide, one conversation at a time

There is something to be said for a small town. Asking your neighbor for a cup of sugar evolves into taking turns hosting card nights, and before you know it their kids and yours think they’re cousins. You leave your front door unlocked at night, and the clerk at the gas station greets everyone like they’re in an episode of Cheers.

The residents of Stetsonville used to be very familiar with this kind of small-town living.

Stetsonville was founded in the late 19th century. It was a logging hub, valued for the railroad that ran through town. Eventually the village transitioned to more agricultural commerce, and when the trains slowed so did life in town. A new elementary school in 1976 stirred things up a bit, but as things sometimes go in small towns, much of the events and gatherings of the past slowly dwindled.

Some of the longtime residents recall dancing in the street for the firemen’s benefit, or playing softball with their loved ones, celebrating both wins and losses with a beer, a slap on the back and some banter. It was a time when everyone felt like family, when people could look out their kitchen window and wave to the young mother pushing a stroller, knowing its because her baby won’t sleep unless she keeps moving.

But change is inevitable, and some feel as though those events have become few and far between. A generational shift has left a mix of longtime residents and newcomers, unintentionally creating a divide between the younger locals and the people who have lived in town for decades. Some of the established residents have theories about why they and the influx of new people are struggling to connect.

Luanne Olson has lived in Stetsonville for nearly 51 years. She’s worked as the village clerk, and has been active in the community through multiple events. She believes that people simply don’t have the opportunity to gather like they used to.

“Everybody works, both people work,” Luanne said of couples raising their children. She remembers when one parent was able to stay in the home with the kids, spending time volunteering and catching up with other parents and families in the neighborhood.

Dale Zirngible of Stetsonville Lumber has been working in the family business since he was 13 years old. He and his brother took over the company from their dad in 1984. Dale believes that school sports are a factor. If parents are running their kids to Milwaukee one day and Ashland the next, everything else must take the back seat.

Dale has also considered that the loss of some local businesses, such as the bank and the grocery store, have significantly decreased foot traffic. This means that Dale isn’t meeting some of the newcomers because they’re shopping and banking, and subsequently purchasing their hardware, elsewhere.

And unlike past times, the young family just starting out can no longer afford to buy a home, and a generation of newcomers means a multitude of people renting which doesn’t always feel like stable placement. It can be difficult to form new relationships with your neighbors when you don’t know if you’re going to be there for the long haul or if you’re just passing through.

The list of reasons why the community just isn’t a same is a mile long, but the reality is simple; for whatever reason, people have stopped reaching out. People stopped making eye contact as they pass each other on the sidewalk. People are in a hurry to the next sporting event, or stressed about whether or not that rent check is going to clear. In the hustle and bustle of a life that feels like its more complicated than it used to be, we’ve lost each other.

Maybe the town will never be what it once was, but what’s to stop it from becoming something else entirely? Why can’t it transform into something new, and how do we bridge that gap?

Ellyn Laska is the new director of the Jean M. Thomsen Memorial Library since Carla Huston and her canine sidekick, Flynn, have moved on. Ellyn grew up in the library and remembers tagging along with her mother, Shannon, helping to shelve books and wandering the rows of titles.

“I’ve been here basically my whole life,” said Ellyn. She loves the small-town feel of the area, especially the library.

“You know just about everyone in the town,” she said.

She recognizes the gap between the residents, and she can’t wait to gather the community together. Ellyn is taking action, planning events at the library for the children in the area, such as reading programs within the elementary school, and she’ll be at Huey’s Hideaway in Medford on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 3 p.m. all summer. She’s also hosting activities at the library each Monday in June and a couple of Mondays in July at 3 p.m.

Ellyn has visions of holiday events, and newsletters. She dreams of an internet cafe corner within the library, a safe space where the children and teens of Stetsonville can come to relax and unwind. Ellyn’s sending out a survey in one of the coming water bills, hoping to identify what the town would like to see from the library so she can better serve her community. The address for the library is 105 N. Gershwin St., Stetsonville, and their phone number is 715-678-2892. Ellyn would love any suggestions for programming emailed to her at director@stetsonville.lib.wi.us Marsha Duellman and her husband Max have lived in Stetsonville for 54 years, and she wants to remind people of the Centennial Community Center, which hosts multiple events a month, like line dancing with the Stetson Stompers, and bingo, cribbage, bean bags and fish fries. All of these events are excellent places to stop and meet new people. The address of the Centennial Community Center is 412 E. Centennial Ave., Stetsonville, and their phone number is 715-678-2000.

Monthly board meetings are a fantastic place to get more in tune with the goingson in town, and they’re held at 4 p.m. every second Monday at the library in the community room. There, you can voice your concerns about issues, meet your board members and other residents, and hear about recent activity in Stetsonville.

Humans are creatures of habit. We crave routine and structure, and once we get into those routines we hate to break out of them. But something magical happens when we step outside of our comfort zones and try something new. Maybe it means knocking on your neighbor’s door and introducing yourself. Maybe it means joining a book club, or hosting an impromptu playdate in your front yard this summer. Maybe it means taking the family to the next softball tournament. It starts with a conversation, or a smile and a handshake. It starts with trying something new.

And when we make that effort, when we consciously make the decision to change the status quo, something incredible happens. It starts small, just ripples in the pond. But eventually, it turns into something bigger.

So the next time you’re running low, ask the nice people next door for a cup of sugar. You never know what it could turn into.

A customer receives her receipt in the Stetsonville Clark gas station on Friday morning. MANDEE ELLIS/THE STAR NEWS

Director of the Jean M. Thomsen Memorial Library Ellyn Laska helps library patron Tabby check out a new book. Laska has big plans to bring the community closer together at the library. MANDEE ELLIS/THE STAR NEWS