Wagon train

The other day I pointed out to my wife and children a really cool wagon that I I thought was really nifty.

The wagon in question is rated to carry 900 pounds and includes sides that fold down and a handle that can also hook onto the back of an ATV, golf cart or similar motorized device.

My wife seemed skeptical of my interest in an admittedly very cool wagon, questioning why I felt I needed one. In my defense, I never clarified that “need” is perhaps a strong word. More like “would like” or “golly that sort of thing would make my life easier” rather than an outright desire to own one.

My wife remained skeptical, further questioning what I would ever use such a wagon for. My children are grown ups — at least on paper, I’ll let you know when they actually move out of my house — and my time of dragging them around in wagons to parades and festivals is long past. For similar reasons it is highly unlikely I would need such a cool wagon to give rides to grandchildren any time in the next decade.

Under her unrelenting questioning, I was forced to admit that I was thinking that such a wagon would be really useful when hauling stuff for things like running concession stands or putting up decorations in the park with the Kiwanis Club.

Yes, I told my wife that I primarily thought it would great to have a wagon to haul around beer.

I expect that she reacted about at well as any spouse would about the stated need for a beer wagon, not just for my own beer, but for beer that would be sold to other people to raise money for things like bus stop houses, park improvements and tools to help students learn. It sounds almost noble when you put it in that context.

It is not so much that I think the wagon would be cool by itself but that I am willing to make a sacrifice to get it for the greater good of my community.

Yeah, she didn’t buy it either. In my defense, as anyone who has worked a concession stand knows, supplies are not light. According to the experts at reusabletranspack.com, in a fascinating article titled “Shipping Your Beer Using Pallets – A Complete Resource Guide for Brewers,” a typical 12-pack of beer weighs about 20 pounds. Incidentally they advise that a good rule of thumb is to plan to stack 100 12-packs on a pallet, but caution not to exceed 2,200 lbs. With a name like reusabletranspack.com, it would make sense that they know such things.

The challenge, I explained to my ever patient and supportive wife, is in restocking concession stands and that where you can park is often far away and up and down hills from where you need the beverages to be.

She preceptively pointed out that I would still have to actually pull the wagon by hand. In hindsight, it probably was not wise to point out the benefits of the dual handle and how it could hook up to the back of a golf cart like the gently used one I had up on my phone that was currently located at a campground in Indiana.

I thought back to being a kid and going to the bank with my dad on a Saturday morning. He was complaining about his company switching to direct deposit for his paychecks and how my mother now knew exactly how much was going into the bank every two weeks making it pretty much impossible for him to squirrel money aside without her knowing about it.

At the time, I was clueless about such things, but I think back on that day often, especially when my wife and I have different views about the inherent necessity or coolness factor of having something.

At this point, I am thinking I shouldn’t even bring up the hoist I want to get to make it easier to put kegs of beer into my keezer. Perhaps I’ll save that discussion for after the curling season.

Brian Wilson is News Editor at The Star News. Contact Brian at BrianWilson@centralwinews.com.