THE BORN LESAR
He signed it, gosh darn it, now make him honor it
According to the most accurate information I was able to uncover without trying very hard at all, Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers is paid $36,275 for every minute he plays in a normal football season. For comparative purposes -- and to reiterate to myself that I probably chose the wrong profession 35 years ago -- for writing this week's column I will be remunerated enough to either fill my vehicle fuel tank about twothirds or buy my cat about three months worth of litter. Yeah, I know, he goes through a lot. I don't call him --itty Kitty for nuthin.' I suppose that comparing my compensation to Mr. Rodgers' is not really practical, as he is like one of the best ever at his occupation while I am to the greatest writers in history what deep-fried cheese curds are to health food. Rodgers is the 3-time Most Valuable Player award winner in a league filled with top-notch professional athletes, while the only real honor I have ever accrued in this business is when an elderly reader once said, 'You're not as fat as your picture in the paper makes you look.' Yeah, well, I've gained 20 pounds since then. Guess I showed her.
The reason I bring up the Packer quarterback's salary is because of ongoing media reports of how he is angry at the organization and either would like to play for another team, or at least have his contract negotiated. Assuming that 'renegotiated' does not involve renaming Lambeau Stadium after his mother or demanding that his face be emblazoned on the Packer helmets, I'm guessing that he wants more money. To me that's sort of like Vladimir Putin passing a new Russian law ordering that he remain president even after he's dead, but hey, Aaron is good at what he does. If you want the best, you gotta pay top dollar, or at least that's what the guy at the chicken fights once told me. Forget it, I told him, all I want is the drumsticks.
So why is it, I wonder, that a 'contract' means nothing when it's signed by a pro athlete? Rodgers is certainly not the first prima dona quarterback to demand that his current supposedly legally-binding pact be shredded and re-written more to his liking, but why is it that I can be thrown in jail for refusing to do what I promised to do in a contractual situation, yet he and others can just say, 'Na, I'm not happy with that anymore. Make me a new one.' I mean, just because he can throw a football through a pie-sized hole from 45 yards away while being chased by a human the size of a Volvo does not mean he should be above the basic laws that govern society. 'You signed it, dude, you honor it. Man up.' That's exactly what I'd say to his face, too, as long as there was like 3 inches of bullet-proof glass between us.
Although it's difficult to believe what any scoop-starved sports media outlet is throwing out there these days, part of the storyline is that Packers' team management has made some decisions of late that Mr. Rodgers is not pleased with. One suggestion is that he wants more say in which other players the Packers procure for their roster, but that's like allowing all the Holsteins in the barn to tell Farmer Bob that old Bessie down there in the end stanchion ought to go 'cuz she just ain't lactatin' like she used to. C'mon, Rodgers is an employee of the Packers' franchise, and has no more right to contribute to upper managements decisions than a janitor has to tell a Wall Street brokerage firm CEO what stock options he thinks are hot. Again, Rodgers signed a multi-year contract that, at the time, made him the highest paid player in the NFL, and if he didn't plan to keep his end of the bargain for whatever reason, then he shouldn't have grabbed a 69-cent Bic with his gajillion-dollar right arm and scribbled his name. Just sayin.' Of course, the thing in play here is leverage, and Rodgers has enough of it right now to pry Plymouth Rock off the Massachusetts coastline (I know, but it's the only really big rock I could think of). If he refuses to honor his contract and the Packers play hard ball and will not renegotiate with him, they would not only lose the services of one of the few players who could lead them to a Super Bowl, but would turn away fans in droves and lose massive amounts of revenue when the stadium has more empty seats on Sundays than a church without padded kneelers (not sure, but I think maybe only the Catholics will get that one). Sure, Rodgers would be out his annual salary of like $37 million, but considering that's he's been making obscene amounts of money for 15 years already and has probably wisely invested most of it, it's doubtful that cash considerations are going to be his driving force in this matter. A scenario that seems more likely every day is that the Packers will trade him to one of the other 31 teams in the league not named the Vikings or Bears. I personally won't be happy with the team if they do, because I believe that would be just another spineless cave to an arrogant athlete using his superstar status to get away with what we call a tantrum when a 5-year-old does it. Sure, a trade would at least ensure that the Packers gain some value in return for losing their stud quarterback, but I have to say I'd give them more credit if they'd stand up to #12 and tell him 'You signed it. You honor it.' What? Me cover part of the financial loss? Have you forgotten already what I told you I get paid?
It is exactly situations like this that turn off many would-be sports fans. There are millions of folks who just like to drink a cold beer and watch a Packer game on Sunday, but then you hear about the whining star quarterback who's making millions in his quarrel with the professional sports franchise that's making billions, and you just don't care anymore. It's not like it was in the good 'old days, I hear old-timers say, when Butkus and Nitschke were playin,' and you never heard of any hassles over contracts 'cuz those guys played for the love of the game and not the money. Of course, back then, they wore leather helmets without facemasks, so most of 'em probably couldn't remember how to spell their name to sign a contract anyway.
