Season’s end brings mixed feelings

With Colby and Abbotsford track finishing up their seasons this past weekend, the spring sports for the two high schools I regularly cover have all officially come to an end. I feel like I’ve played witness to a lot of endings as of late. It’s that time of year, I suppose. Students performing in their final concerts, playing in their last games, attending graduation ceremonies. Teachers retiring. The Bucks bowing out of the playoffs much too early for my liking (get healthy Khris, it looks like they need you).

Seeing the seniors run their final races of their high school careers or watching my dad go through the numerous cards he received from his students and co-workers has me reflecting on my own experiences with endings.

There’s something about them that sticks with me. I can vividly remember my last plays on the football and baseball fields, final days at jobs, the closing festivities at graduation events. Even something as small as the endings of television shows I enjoyed.

One thing that I don’t remember, however, is the game that concluded my high school basketball career. Which makes sense, I guess. Part of the reason why I believe that these events are so easy to recall is that, while they were happening, I knew that they were the conclusion to a particular chapter in my life. Endings are very unique events, the termination of a road of routine, and as such, they tend to have more pomp and circumstance. This is especially if they are planned.

But sometimes they aren’t. Sometimes, they sneak up on you, and you only realize that it was the end with the power of hindsight. At the time, my last basketball game was just like any other before that. I had thought that I would have another entire year to play. But that was not how things worked out, and now I have no idea what happened on the court that day.

And it is at this point that many who are waxing nostalgic over their bygone experiences give those in the midst of those experiences some sage advice. “Enjoy it now, because it’ll be gone before you know it.”

I can’t tell you the number of times I myself have received such advice, and it’s certainly not the worst I have ever gotten. Just last week, I talked a bit about making sure to live in the moment, lest things pass you by.

But I think what I spoke about last week and what people who give that advice typically are feeling at the moment of giving it are two different things. In my experience, there are just some things that you can’t notice, can’t appreciate, until they are no longer there. Because of this, we can only view them as bittersweet. I think it is those things that people try to get others to enjoy when they utter that phrase, because they would rather have only the sweet half of those particular memories.

Which is why I won’t give that same advice to all those who are in the middle of their own endings right now. Partially because I don’t think we can truly acknowledge many of these aspects without putting some distance between ourselves and the experience, but also partially because I feel like trying to do otherwise would do your endings a disservice.

Part of the reason why I have such clear memories of these planned endings is because of the bittersweet emotions I had while experiencing them. And yes, perhaps these aren’t as enjoyable as purely happy ones, but they are necessary nonetheless. To try to ignore them would be taking away from what makes these moments special. It would make them like any other day, which, like my final basketball game, could ultimately make them forgettable.

Endings can be sad, or happy, or most likely a mixture of both. I suppose the most concrete thing I can say about them is that you just need to take them as they come, instead of trying to force yourself to feel one thing or another. While they may be sad now, I have a feeling you will find the silver lining later that will make you appreciate them all the more.

All that being said, it’s weeks later and I’m still struggling to find that silver lining in the Bucks’ series loss. Sigh. Guess I’m a Steph Curry fan now. Ah well. I guess one last thing that usually comes with endings is that they are followed by new beginnings, and at the very least there is next year to look forward to.

A C ERTAIN POINT OF V IEW

NATHANIEL UNDERWOOD

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