Balancing generations, budgets, and sleep: Insights for today’s families - Striking a Chord…

Balancing generations, budgets, and sleep: Insights for today’s families

Hello, all. Hope you are doing well and enjoying spring! It looks like there are some warmer, 60-degree-plus days ahead – at least at the time I am writing this – so I’m looking forward to that and to spending more time outside.

Again this week, I plan to bounce around with topics and not just stick to one.

First, here’s something probably a lot of you can relate to, whether you are a parent or a grandparent. I learned a new term: “gramnesia” (made by combining “grandparent” and “amnesia”). It’s the idea that by the time people get to be grandparents, they tend to forget what it’s like to raise young kids and, as a result, bend the rules parents set when caring for their grandkids. This could look like allowing the kids to eat more sweets than the parents normally would give them, or letting them stay up past their bedtime. Grandparents spoiling their grandkids is certainly not a new phenomenon, but the new term is kind of fun.

Dr. Zishan Khan, in writing for Parents.com, gives several reasons why grandparents are inclined to do this. For one, they might be looking at the past with rose-colored glasses.

“Over time, the exhaustion and anxiety of parenting may fade, leaving a nostalgic, idealized version of child-rearing,” says Khan.

Grandparents may also see themselves as the “experts” on parenting, having done it once before. Or, they may feel they were too harsh on their own children and thus take a relaxed, more indulgent approach with their grandchildren.

Whatever the reason, if there is a consistent, significant discrepancy between what the parents allow and what the grandparents allow, it can create friction between the adults and confusion for the child. Khan offers a few tips to prevent that. The main thing is that both sides try to understand and see things from the other’s perspective.

– Parents should set clear expectations around things like discipline, routines, and caregiving responsibilities, so everyone is on the same page. Open communication is a must.

– Grandparents should remember that theirs is a supportive role; they are not the primary caregivers. They should respect the boundaries the parents have set.

– Parents should acknowledge that grandparents bring a level of wisdom and experience from having raised a child, even if they didn’t get it perfect. They should also remember that not every difference in opinion has to turn into a conflict. In other words, don’t begrudge the occasional late night or extra piece of candy. Your child is building that special bond with Grandma and Grandpa, and being connected to more people who care about them will benefit them as they grow up.

- After all, parents need all the support they can get nowadays, as they face some unique challenges, whether it’s navigating responsible use of technology, upholding strong moral values in an increasingly permissive society, or, not least, simply financially supporting a child or children in a time when inflation is still hitting hard and many families are under economic strain.

The cost to raise a child continues to rise. According to a 2022 analysis from public policy think tank The Brookings Institution, a middle-income family with two children could expect to spend approximately $310,605, adjusted for higher future inflation, to raise one child born in 2015 through age 17. That equals an annual cost of more than $17,000.

However, a 2023 study by LendingTree estimated that the average annual cost of raising a child has risen to $21,681, a 19% increase from 2016. That would bring the total estimated cost per child to $389,000 over 18 years. That same study found that Wisconsin ranked 20th for the annual cost of raising a child, with a price tag of $24,064 per year.

The biggest expense categories are housing (29% of total costs), food (18%), and child care (16%).

-We all know that screen time before bed can be an inhibitor of deep, restful sleep, but did you know that it’s the type of screen time that affects a person’s sleep quality more than the specific amount of time?

A 2024 study of 830 young adults published in MDPI examined how different types of social media engagement predicted sleep problems. Researchers found that frequent visits to social media sites and emotional investment were greater predictors of poor sleep quality rather than the amount of time spent online. Some other key takeaways were: – Doomscrolling or consuming political news or distressing world events on social media can keeps the brain in a state of heightened alertness. This causes pre-sleep arousal and delays the onset of sleep. – “Viewing idealized social media posts before bed can lead to upward social comparison, increasing stress and making it harder to sleep,” Brian N. Chin, assistant professor of psychology at Trinity College and one of the co-authors of the aforementioned study, writes for The Conversation.

– Checking notifications and scrolling before bed can become a habit and is associated with shorter sleep duration and progressively later bedtimes. Frequently checking one’s phone can create a false “need” to be connected and reinforce the habit of delaying sleep.

To avoid all that, Chin offers a few simple suggestions: Avoid emotionally charged content – or better yet, avoid screens altogether – for at least 30-60 minutes before bed. Leave your phone in another room and/or set it to “Do Not Disturb” to reinforce that the bedroom is for sleep. Set time limits to prevent yourself from mindlessly scrolling. All it takes is a little intentionality to promote better sleep and overall wellbeing.

-Have a restful week!