The struggle to make decisions: How FOBO keeps us from moving forward - Striking a Chord…

The struggle to make decisions: How FOBO keeps us from moving forward

Greetings, everyone! I am loving the warmer weather this week. I hope you have gotten the chance to get outside and enjoy it. Here are some tidbits collected from here and there across the web: - You may have heard of FOMO, or “fear of missing out,” but have you heard of “FOBO”? FOBO stands for “fear of a better option.”

FOBO is “the anxiety that something better will come along, which makes it undesirable to commit to existing choices when making a decision,” author and venture capitalist Patrick McGinnis explained to HuffPost. McGinnis coined the term FOBO, as well as FOMO, back in 2004 when he was a student at Harvard Business School. The terms have subsequently seeped their way into mainstream culture, although FOMO is the better-known term.

As the HuffPost article explained, fear of a better option can keep people from making consequential decisions in their lives because the choosing of one good option means the exclusion of many other good options that a person fears would actually work out better for them. For example, choosing a career with a demanding course of study means excluding other career options to devote one’s time to that one career path.

FOBO also has to do with an aversion to risk and a person not wanting to make a choice he or she will later regret. This leads to overanalyzing and procrastinating, and in some cases when the person is ready to finally take leap and make the decision, the choice has already been made for them.

McGinnis said FOBO is partially brought on by the society we live in. We have a seemingly endless parade of choices when it comes to what foods we buy at the grocery store, what movies we watch on our smart TV, or even what relationships we choose to engage in (think dating apps). All of these choices can paralyze a person.

But, said McGinnis, constantly second-guessing every decision and searching for that elusive “perfect choice” just leads to stress, anxiety, and exhaustion, not to mention missed opportunities. To avoid these negative ramifications, mental health professionals suggest the following tips: Take your time when making decisions but avoid obsessing over every little detail. Try to narrow down your field to two or three good options and then go with your gut. Choose an option that aligns with your values. You can also seek the wisdom of trusted advisors in your life.

Recognize that oftentimes major decisions come with a small amount of regret, or at the very least nostalgia for the way things were. Also remember that very few decisions are permanent and you can course-correct later. Taking some of the pressure off ourselves to make the “perfect” decision can free us to actually lead more fulfilling, adventurous lives.

For someone who sometimes struggles with decision-making and/or overanalyzing, these are helpful reminders.

-I read an interesting article recently from Seth Troutt of World Magazine entitled, “A dearth of vital virtues” with the subheading, “Our society has a masculinity shortage—not a surplus.” Troutt argues that our society does not have a “toxic masculinity” problem as much as it has simply a lack of men exhibiting true, healthy, godly masculinity. A couple of quotes resonated with me, which I will share here: “A chauvinist isn’t too masculine. He’s not masculine enough. He sticks out for what he lacks: chivalry and humility.”

“(A man with) a proper masculinity will see his desires as fundamentally good, but nonetheless disordered. Desire for sex isn’t bad, but lust is. Desire for money isn’t bad, but greed is. Desire for power isn’t bad, but abuse is. True masculinity is marked by self-conquest, not the conquest of others.”

(Emphasis added.)

I would agree, and add that respect has to be earned. If a man wants to lead and truly have influence over his family, he ought to be a humble servant leader. That is the kind of person that people are willing to follow.

- Lastly, here are a couple of upcoming holidays that are worth a mention.

March is American Red Cross Month. The Red Cross does a lot of important work in our communities. According to a press release from the organization, the Red Cross is responding to nearly twice as many major disasters than it did a decade ago across the country — on top of everyday crises like home fires. After disasters of all sizes, the Red Cross provides emergency lodging, food and financial assistance.

Red Cross health and mental health support may include replacing lost prescription medications and medical equipment, helping people in its shelters cope with chronic illnesses aggravated by the disaster, and providing emotional support and referrals to community health and mental health professionals for additional care.

So far this year, the Red Cross has helped people affected by large disasters such as the record-breaking wildfires in California. This came on the heels of 2024 having the second-highest number of billion-dollar disasters in a single year, due to major events like hurricanes, floods, and tornadoes, according to NOAA.

The Red Cross is also the largest supplier of blood in the U.S., providing about 40% of the nation’s blood. If you’re able, consider donating blood or volunteering to support the Red Cross.

March is also National Optimism Month. Research suggests optimists may live 5-15% longer than pessimists, depending on the study. Optimistic people are more likely to engage in healthy behaviors like regular exercise and a good diet.

There’s always a reason to have hope.

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” – Winston Churchill Have an excellent week!