Headline games

On a four-person golf scramble team, everyone has their role. There is the guy who can drive the ball landing it in the middle of the fairway. There is the guy who can chip the ball onto the green without blinking. There is the guy who sinks every putt.

Then there is me, the guy who waves down the bar cart whenever it drives by. While every player is important, we all know who the true heroes are on a hot summer day when you work up a sweat just walking to the tee box.

While there are always a handful of competitive teams that take part in golf outings with the goal to win, for the rest of us it is an excuse to play hooky from work and have some fun. As with most outings, the Chamber’s included a variety of games and activities at each hole where golfers could attempt to win prizes.

One of the competitions this year was for each team to come up with a headline that could appear in this week’s issue of The Star News.

Writing headlines is harder than you think.

The ideal headline should draw the reader’s attention to the story without giving everything away. Add on limitations based on space, size of type and good taste and crafting a compelling headline can be elevated to an art form.

Back when I was in journalism school, before the advent of “what you see is what you get” computerized pagination, we were taught to count out headlines with most letters getting a full count with letters like lowercase “l” and punctuation getting a half count and greedy “M” taking up two counts. Headline counting along with how to use photo sizing wheels or the method to properly splice the corners of border tape for photos are rapidly disappearing thanks to technology. I am sure the people who used cranks to start their automobiles felt the same way when electric starters became standard.

If you managed to plow through that section about headline writing good for you, because the payoff is that kind folks at the Chamber shared with me the list of suggested headlines from the teams with an emphasis on good natured humor. I am in turn sharing them with you.

Here is a selection of headlines: “Par then bar.” “Have you ever been to Punta Perkinstown?” “Aaron Rodgers traded.” “Rodman’s cankles take first place at golf outing.” “Strokes with a bunch of good folks.” “Beauty queen Sue Emmerich makes home in Medford.” “Golfers bring the world back together.” “Kwik Trip announces opening of 4th store in Medford.” “Mayor Mike wins at Medford Chamber gold outing. Film at 11.” “Turbulence was in the air as heat and stormed brewed.” “The Chamber golfers smoked a few (that’s balls).” “120 plus golfers hacked and whacked as the day went on.” “Tee off COVID-19.” “Koepka and Dechambeau continue feud at Chamber gold outing.” “Rain does not deter determined golfers.” “Aim high to score low.”

The major takeaways I got from reading through these suggested headlines is that based on the headline writing talent pool in the community, I am feeling more secure about my job and that a good time was had by all the participants even with the occasional rain delay.

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I spent a good portion of my Saturday afternoon donating blood to the local swarm of mosquitoes as I put together our new gas grill.

Regular readers will remember that my wife bought the grill on Mother’s Day weekend claiming it was my Father’s Day gift. After walking around the large box full of grill parts for the past month, and with Father’s Day this coming weekend, I felt it was time to put it together. I was somewhat disappointed that I was not able to justify the purchase of a new power tool when putting it together, but with the occasional help of my children I was able to get it done and ready to be fired up later this week.

I am in a quandary about what food I should grill on it first. Should I christen it with some elaborate meal, perhaps a perfectly marbled ribeye, or should I stick with something steady and reliable like brats and burgers? I foresee having to expand my grilling repertoire in order to take the new grill through its paces.

Brian Wilson is News Editor at The Star News.