Little white lies
– Random Writings: Column by Rebecca Lindquist –
It’s human nature to accept everything at face value. If someone tells you something, why would you question them or assume they have an ulterior motive? Unfortunately, after getting “burned” multiple times, it tends to make one leery and skeptical, and put one’s guard up.
A classic example, is the hype an advertised product receives. It’s described in glowing terms to entice potential buyers. There is just enough truth to their ad campaign to make it believable, but, in reality, that’s not always the case.
My daughter, Hannah, took an Intro to Stage Makeup class in college. The program required various makeup products, with the end goal of creating prosthetic features, either facial or bodily, applied on oneself, to create the desired visage: elderly, scar tissue, super hero or villain, among others.
She went to various stores, to locate the necessary products for the assignment.
She was home for the weekend, and asked if she could borrow a couple washcloths to remove any makeup after the class concluded, since she wouldn’t return to her dorm apartment until the end of the day. Han reassured me that all the makeup was washable, with easy cleanup, using warm, soapy water.
Hearing that, I sent two of my newest washcloths, not wanting to embarrass her by sending some that were getting a little on the ratty side.
Washable, my foot. The manufacturer clearly never tested whether it could remove theatre cosmetics. I sprayed the offending articles with SHOUT stain remover, then put them in the washing machine with detergent and Borax, using the hot water cycle. Expecting pristine-looking washcloths once again, I was sorely disappointed.
The only truthful comment I can make, is they smelled fresh and clean. They still retained face paint blotches. It looked like someone had a grazing fest at Taco John’s and, afterward, took a healthy shart, using my used-to-be-new washcloths, instead of toilet paper.
In the grand scheme of things, does it really matter that the stains are still on there? Not really, but I most certainly would have sent old rags instead. Lesson learned.
I can cite case after case of similar falsehoods, whether uttered intentionally or not, which shake one’s resolve to see the best in people. How many times have you waited for someone who will “call you right back?” I realize issues crop up and cause unexpected delays, but don’t lead the caller on with false hope.
Why not just be forthright, and explain it’s extremely busy or it will require time to find the information sought, and it may be few days before your call is returned.
Another Pinocchio phrase that amuses me, “I’ll mail the check to you today” or “the check is in the mail.” Rarely does that occur.
I think the one misnomer I find exceedingly amusing, is “One Size Fits All.” How do manufacturers have the nerve to use that in their selling strategy? Clearly people come in all shapes and sizes. Case in point, my physique resembles that of a Sumo wrestler bulking up for a tournament. One size does NOT fit all.
Another favorite, is a foolproof recipe. Wanna bet? Have you met me? I have the best of intentions, but some of the easiest recipes go awry. Not just a minor drawback, but an epic failure, to the point where I wouldn’t even try to pawn it off on someone I had a grudge against. Foolproof? Challenged accepted… and botched.
Time to step down off my tirade soapbox. Rant over. (Oh, look, another fabrication.)
