Huh, I’ve never had this happen before!

– Column –

I feel a great need to apologize to not only clerks of stores, but also patrons who end up behind me as I attempt to check out with a purchase. I’ve spoken time and again about my bad luck, and I’m afraid for some, they may have gotten a glimpse first-hand at how bad it is.

You’d think it would be so simple to just go in a store, pick out your items, pay for them and leave. Not so for a Young.

Usually, what ends up happening, is I get up to the counter and A.) The items won’t ring up, or B.) The items ring up, but it says there’s a problem and it can’t finish the transaction.

When this happens, I brace myself, because I know what’s coming.

“Huh, I’ve never had this happen before!”

It doesn’t matter if I get a seasoned clerk or one who just started that day, their response is all the same. Pure puzzlement over the issue.

For me, it’s a matter of routine. It’s just about a given I’ll encounter some problem when making a purchase.

While the poor clerk mutters to themselves and punches every key on the register, rescanning and trying to figure out where they went wrong, I studiously keep my eyes from straying to meet the (sometimes) dozens of people in line behind me.

I finger little novelties by the counter, read signs on the wall and look outside (if applicable). Meanwhile, I can feel the cold glares, eye rolls and sighs that meander down the back of my neck.

Finally, after a call to the manager or tech support, or just some good old-fashioned fiddling with buttons, the harassed clerk gives an, “Ah-ha, there we go!” and the ordeal is over – for them.

There’s another variable in the checkout: someone ahead of me is paying with a credit or debit card. Now, you wouldn’t think this would mean anything to me and if my last name was Chmielewski, there would be no issue whatsoever.

But since it isn’t, it’s inevitable that the person’s card will be declined or say it isn’t valid.

“But, I just used it this morning and there was no problem!” the shopper will say.

In my head, I respond to the poor person ahead of me. Oh, I know, dear, I know. It’s all my fault, not yours.

Out loud, I say nothing and again study displays near me.

Eventually, the clerk/customer figure out what’s wrong and then it’s my turn. We may or may not have to go through the aforementioned A and B scenarios, depending on whether the luck feels bad for me that day.

Used to be, I would haltingly try to explain to the clerks and fellow customers about what was going on. I always accepted full blame and offered no excuses, other than I am a Young.

“Sorry,” chuckle, chuckle, “pretty sure this is from my bad luck,” chuckle, chuckle. After a lot of blank stares from people looking back at me, I have since decided to play it dumb.

Unless you’re a Young, born in the blood or married into it, you just don’t get it.

It’s not just at stores, either. Maintenance on house and car, hair cuts, doctors visits, you name it.

“Huh, I’ve never had this happen before!”

I just swallow, smile faintly and thank whoever I’m dealing with, walking out the door without looking anyone in the eye. The Luck o’ the Youngs strikes again!

So, in the interest of fair play, if you’re a customer, and see me out and about in a store, you may want to take another lap around the shelves until I vacate the premises. If you’re a cashier, you may want to go on break. Immediately.

If those options don’t suit, all I can say is, I am truly sorry. All you’ll say is, “Huh, I’ve never had this happen before!”