What I learned from My Mom’s Experience with Cancer

Marshall Buechel, first place

“I still miss those I loved who are no longer with me but I am grateful for having loved them. The gratitude has conquered the loss.” — Rita Mae Brown Have you ever known a family member who’s had cancer or been really sick? Have you had a family member pass to the Great Beyond? Have you ever thought you’d fall into depression after one of these experiences? Have you put an urn in your house filled with the ashes of a loved one? Sadly, I’ve encountered all of these, but spending time with my family helped me so much.

In November of 2019, my mom was getting a lot of phone calls she had to leave the room for. Mom eventually told my sister and me she had cancer in her breasts. My sister and I started crying because one of her friends had brain cancer and passed away and we thought cancer meant certain death. Mom reassured us it was very curable so we would stop crying.

Shortly after, she started chemotherapy and dad shaved her head. I remember tears flowing down her face like a river flowing into the ocean. She kept saying her head was cold, so she bought two chemo hats. I remember she was under three blankets and was still shivering like she was in Antarctica in the winter. She was a teacher, so she was in front of people so she also bought a wig. Fast forward a year or so and she started losing the ability to walk and was constantly sick. We thought she was cured, but cancer spread to her bones. We took a trip to Michigan and while we were there we found out. We had to leave early because she had to go to the hospital, where she stayed for about five weeks.

Dad asked us to sit on the couch. My sister and I each had a chocolate chip cookie. We sat down and he started tearing up as he spoke. “Mom is going to pass away in a couple of days.” I started crying and I shove my face into his chest. The next day Mom was home again but on a bed with an oxygen tank connected to her nose. That night she stopped breathing.

Her funeral was a week later, and everyone was crying. That’s when I realized my mom made an impact on these people’s lives, and if she could do that to people, I could too!

The biggest lesson I learned from this experience is to value time with people. I didn’t get as much time with my mother as I thought I would. I was so naive when it came to time with people. I’ve learned that my time and other people’s time are essential and must be spent wisely. Time is not money but time is happiness, so I’ve learned to use my time for good reasons, not negative ones.

I will now live my life making smart choices, not fun ones. I will think about what other people are going through before I say anything. You never know what may be happening to someone else. I will feel more empathetic and think about how to spend my time wisely. Life is short. Spend it the way that makes you happy, and enjoy the time you have with everyone important to you.