Are pockets too much to ask for?

– Column –

I’m not a fashionista, not even close. When it comes to clothes, I tend to prefer comfy over classy. You have no idea how happy I am yoga pants have come back into style enough that I can find some in the stores. Gotta keep my stash up. You never know when the tides of fashion will decide they are no longer a desirable item of clothing.

Even if fashion isn’t my strong suit, I do feel I am qualifi ed to offer tips to clothing makers, since I wear clothes, even if I don’t actually buy the cute version of any of it. And clothing that is actually “wearable” is what I want.

Do you know what would make clothes more wearable? Pockets. And when I say pockets, I don’t mean the little two inch deep ones that don’t hold anything. I want real pockets that I can put my keys, a few dollars and maybe (gasp) my cell phone in.

I know clothing designers are capable of creating those luxurious little pouches, because they sell them in the men’s department. Occasionally, I try to pull guy’s clothing off just for the benefit of the pockets.

I recently saw a picture of two of my college friends walking down the sidewalk. On the right, stood my friend Margot, with a look of sad acceptance on her face. Her water bottle precariously balanced in the front pocket of her jeans. I connect with Margot’s pain. The false hope of uselessly shallow pockets can crush your soul.

On the left, was Matt. He had an entire travel mug tucked securely into his front pocket and he was clearly proud of it. I’m pretty sure the only reason he had his mug in his pocket, was because he could fit it in his pocket.

Jean pockets would be great. Pockets in athletic clothing would be even better. While I can begrudgingly carry a purse with me when I am out and about, for things like work or grocery shopping, that is not a real option when it comes to exercise.

Pockets in running shorts would be even nicer over summer, when I’m not wearing a coat with pockets.

Case in point, last summer I went for a walk/run on a Saturday morning. I had my fanny pack on (desperate times call for desperate measures), but all that really fits in that are my phone and keys. Upon returning to my house, I discovered my key was not going to play nice. It wouldn’t let me in the back door or the front door. I was unimpressed. Only I would get locked out of my house when I have my key with me.

After multiple failed attempts at entering both doors, I called my dad to see if he had any ideas how I could get back into my house. I was coming up with nothing, other than kicking down the door, which is admittedly a far cry from a great solution to anything.

My dad suggested trying WD40. The only problem? My WD40 was inside the garage I couldn’t get in and I had no wallet on me. That’s always stressful.

Luckily, business accounts are a thing at our local hardware store. WD40 worked for one of the doors. The other door is now one way only. You want to leave? Be my guest. But you can’t come back in that way.

If I would have had pockets on me, I would have been able to carry my wallet with me. That would have opened the door (pun intended) to a lot more solutions.

I could add pockets to clothes I already own, but I’m just not that good at sewing and don’t particularly like fashion enough to do that.

I should really start a petition demanding pockets for all.

If clothing designers really wanted to make simpletons like me really happy, they could go above and beyond. May I present – pockets with zippers.