How Does Your Garden Grow? - Slow going

How Does Your

Garden Grow?

Still no signs of life.

My mom told me to put plastic wrap over the bell peppers to encourage them to sprout so I did that over the weekend to no avail. She came by early in the week and told me to try putting them in the dark. I’m not sure if this is some kind of punishment meant to intimidate my seeds into growing, but I’m willing to try anything at this point and threw them into the lobby closet, still covered in plastic. If a time-out doesn’t work all I have left in my arsenal are verbal threats.

My bell peppers are going to get whiplash. I’m not going to lie to you, I really thought they were going to spring up and make my whole “patience is a virtue” speech in last week’s column really come together this week.

What is it they say about the best laid plans? Myra Nye of Antigo, formerly of Chelsea, emailed me and suggested that I try warming my seeds in Jiffy Seed Starting Peat Pellets that have been soaked in water while simultaneously using a heat pad underneath the containers.

“You can get a plant heat pad from a hardware store where plant starting supplies are sold. It's a one time investment,” Myra told me. My plants have one more week to get their lives together before I take Myra up on her advice. These seeds are officially put on notice.

I decided to stop worrying about my bell peppers and go whole hog into planting my strawberry and tomato seeds, trying hard not to carry over any negativity or stress about my stupid, stunted and disappointing bell peppers. Insert deep breath here.

I had originally intended to plant my beefsteak tomatoes on March 28 but the idea of a three day weekend took priority and I didn’t get to them until April 1. The package instructed me to plant them a quarter of an inch deep and a half an inch apart. They like to be in a warm, well-lit area so I devised a little experiment and put a bunch in the lobby window, which tends to be the warmest spot in the building, and several in the office window. I also put a tray in the back by the sliding glass door. That spot is cooler, but bright. We shall see.

I also planted my alpine strawberries on April 1 which I meant to do a day earlier. I decided to put them in some plastic carryout containers and separated the lids from the bottoms with my x-acto knife. I then flipped the lids upside down and lined the insides with clean bottle caps. I placed the bottoms of the containers, which I had drilled a few holes in for drainage, inside the upside down lids. This gave me a solid container that had adequate space for drainage so the roots wouldn’t rot. The strawberries wanted to be planted an eighth of an inch deep so I filled the containers with dirt, sprinkled the seeds over the top and used my hands to blanket the seeds with a light layer of soil. The packet recommends that alpine strawberries be placed under fluorescent lights and that direct sunlight can be too harsh for them, so I put the two containers on my desk and another pop bottle full of seeds a bit deeper into the office where sunlight can’t reach them.

Kelly, our sales manager and resident idea-factory thought we should make an office competition out of starting seeds. I’m into anything that involves ribbing my coworkers and since this particular gang of people is never short on comebacks it should be a good time. The next veggie to be planted is our lettuce on April 14, so I’ll try valiantly to have my ducks in a row by then. We’ll ask each person to put a dollar in the kitty and the winner will take home seven whole bucks plus bragging rights, and if you’ve ever worked in an office building you know which is more valuable.

I’m starting to get excited about setting up our buckets outside when the weather improves, if it ever does. I have visions of tending to my plants in a sun hat with some buttery soft gardening gloves as the birds chirp and the river flows in the background while my coworkers are inside furiously typing and answering phones.

I still have quite a bit of work to do before I get to that point. Between now and next week I’d like to set some of my buckets outside to soak off any leftover grime. Many of my buckets are stuck together and I’ll have to troubleshoot that obstacle first. I heard that you can use an air hose to separate them and I’m not above bribing one of our neighbors for a little help.

I’m giving myself one more week until I give up on the peppers and send them to the compost bin, which smells terrible by the way. Maybe I’m just not cut out for starting seeds and I’m better off following Katrina Becker’s advice and just buying already started seedlings. But I’m committed to sticking it out and trying each of my little seed packets. If the strawberries and tomatoes don’t pop up I’ll switch out my soil, or find a little plastic greenhouse, or try Myra’s technique and buy the peat pellets with a heat pad. The one thing I won’t do is quit.

I’ll complain a lot though.

Mandee Ellis is a reporter at The Star News. Contact her at Mandee@centralwinews.com.