– Time For A Tiara: Column by Ginna Young – - My blood type is bacon grease

– Time For A Tiara: Column by Ginna Young –

I came across a meme the other day, that made me actually guffaw out loud. Although I’m positive it was completely made up by someone with a good sense of humor, it was of a man being interviewed and went like this: Interviewer – “Matt, are you a vegetarian?”

Matt – “I used to be.” Interviewer – “What made you change?” Matt – “Bacon.” See what I mean? Hysterical! One of my very favorite TV series really said it best; the premise is, that an expedition traveled by wormhole gate across galaxies, to the lost city of Atlantis. The power consumption for such a trip was enormous, so unless they found another power source, the journey was oneway.

These hardy explorers set out, full of determination, but by the middle of the first season, supplies were running low. While they managed to broker a trade agreement with another culture in that galaxy and started planting their own crops on the mainland of the planet, which took care of their dietary needs, that didn’t solve the personal cravings.

The one episode, our main characters were completing important tasks, while two of the lower echelon (and soon to be deceased) crewmen were on watch in the control room. The scene cut into the end of their conversation, as one, known in the post credits as Bacon Guy 1, is saying, “Bacon!?” The other, known as Bacon Guy 2, says, “Yeah, you asked me what I wish I’d brought with me.”

Bacon Guy 1, goes, “You wish you’d brought bacon to another galaxy?” Bacon Guy 2 replies, “It’s the food that makes other food worth eating.”

Exactly!

Especially for me, as I live and breathe for bacon; it’s like eating cheese, it’s just an everyday part of life for me. Mom always said, if you cut open my veins, bacon grease would pour out.

Of course, with my busy schedule, I don’t always get my bacon. It takes time to fry it and while I could bake it, that clean-up is even worse to me, than the frying. Usually, I get my bacon fix in the form of pre-packaged sandwiches, fast food hamburgers and stuff like that, which just isn’t as good and probably far more unhealthy.

When I do have the time, I’m fortunate to have two close sources to get locally grown and produced bacon from, and both the suppliers have incredible bacon. (Sounds bad, doesn’t it? I have to hit my “supplier.”) No offense at all meant to anyone who makes and sells bacon, but the very best bacon in the whole world, came from Nolechek’s Meats in Thorp. Dang, I can taste it now!

Unfortunately, after many, many years in business, the family-run locker sold their stock, sold the building and closed their doors. I was devastated, even though I hadn’t been there in years; it was another piece of my childhood gone when that happened, not to mention, there went all their scrumptious offerings.

I never really liked the new remodeled shop they had, I preferred the old, small space, with all the awards hanging on the walls and the smell – oh, that glorious smell – of preserved meats. There wasn’t anything like it in the world.

But, as the saying goes, the times, they are a changin’.

In my food experimenting years, I used to put bacon in the oven, covered in brown sugar, because I LOVE sweet and salty together, and have dipped bacon into melted chocolate, just eating it like that.

The best sweet and salty combination I ever had, though, was at a food booth one year, at Rock Fest. My friend, Joy and I, still talk about that and wipe drool off our chins, even though it’s been at least 10 years. I wish I could remember the name of that food vendor.

Anyway, on the menu was bacon-on-a-stick, slathered in marshmallow creme, covered with melted chocolate, then rolled in some kind of crunchy coating...maybe crumbled cookie...and deep fried. Holy rabies, that could be the best thing I ever ate in my life!!!

We each had gotten one, but it was so darn good, we each went back and ordered another. We went back the next day of fest and got more, and if my memory serves me right, the day after that.

Of course, the next year, we counted down the days and hours until Rock Fest, excitedly dropping by the food vendors before we even caught any acts. Much to our dismay, that booth was nowhere to be found and ever since then, they have not been back to Rock Fest and we’ve never seen them anywhere else.

This spring, I was given a little bit of hope. I stumbled across an event advertised online, that takes place in River Falls, this September, called Bacon Bash. A festival dedicated to bacon.

The days feature music and activities, but more importantly, food offerings and tastings, such as bacon-wrapped jalapeno poppers, bacon infused macaroni and cheese, and maple bacon donuts.

Well, that’s a no-brainer that Joy and I need to go, and we may just find that glorious bacon concoction once more. If we do, we’ll let you know – after we come out of our bacon stupor.