Journey of a Resilient Girl
Johanna Chandler, first place
“Forgiveness is not always easy. At times, it feels more painful than the wound we suffered, to forgive the one that inflicted it. And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness.” -Marianne Williamson I chose this quote because it took me a long time to learn to forgive people in my life who had hurt me. My mental health is now in a place where I can move forward even when some days are still a struggle. When I was about six or seven years old, I had a family member who hurt me, but it felt like nobody believed me. After all of this, school became very hard for me. On top of what happened to me at home, kids at school were bullying me for my weight. At home I was lashing out, shutting down, not listening or talking to anyone. I wanted to end it all multiple times until I finally got some help from a hospital that put me on medication to help with my depression and anxiety. I had to learn several techniques to move on and put it all behind me. When I got out of the hospital I was a lot happier. Eventually, I had to repeat the process another two times. I started going to equine therapy, which is working with horses. With no one but myself and people who cared about me, I worked myself off of my meds. Since then, I have been able to forgive the person that hurt me. The hardest part was learning to forgive myself and keep going.
Forgiveness is not merely accepting what happened or ceasing to be angry. Rather, it involves a voluntary transformation of your feelings, attitudes, and behavior, so that you are no longer dominated by resentment and can express compassion, generosity, or the like toward the person who has wronged you. It involves an intentional decision to let go of resentment and anger. The act that hurt might always be with you. I learned that to forgive someone you have to forgive yourself first, which is a positive attitudinal shift in the feelings, actions, and beliefs about the self, following a self-perceived transgression or wrongdoing committed by the self. I didn’t truly understand that at first. It helped me get rid of the guilt that I was feeling for a couple of years. It has helped me move forward and enjoy my life. I don’t find myself in a dark hole as much these days. The forgiveness path towards emotional healing for the survivor of the abuse has occurred! Letting go of anger, resentment, and bitterness can free you from the emotional burden of abuse or trauma. Forgiveness is very important when recovering from abuse; it allows me to get control back of my life. I was also able to reclaim my emotions. It helped me take steps to rebuild my life and my happiness. It helped free me from feeling like I was trapped.
From now on, I will live my life forgiving as much as I can so I don’t carry the burden with me of holding a grudge. If people wrong me I will take time, but I will forgive. I don’t want to live a life full of regrets for not forgiving myself or other people who have wronged me. Life is too short for regrets. I’m going to live my life focusing on forgiveness. Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you’ll forget all about it, it is something that allows you to move on from it. I’m not forgiving them for them but, for myself. Forgiveness will help me in the future by having an even more improved mental health than I do now. So, I will live my life forgiving people as much as I can.
