Grief has no time limit
Grief is typically associated with an emotional response to loss or life changes, but grief can also have physical, cognitive, behavioral, social, cultural and spiritual affects. The best way to support a loved one who is grieving, is to be fully present and accepting of their grieving process; grief looks different for everyone.
What most people need after a loss, is time, and someone who can truly listen, acknowledge their feelings, run errands or simply offer comfort.
According to the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization (NHPCO), it is important to remember there is no right or wrong way to grieve. However, there are general guidelines for those supporting a friend or loved one, who has endured a loss or challenge.
“It’s important you do not impose your ideas, beliefs or expectations on someone else, no matter how much you think it will help,” said bereavement coordinator Wendy Deering. “Understand that each person responds differently, and those responses may reflect the cultural or family traditions unique to them.”
Acknowledge that life won’t feel the same. When they are ready, help the friend or family member to renew interest in past activities, and hobbies, or to discover new areas of interest. Offer specific suggestions, such as, going to a museum, but be completely accepting if the offer is declined.
Be specific in willingness to help – offer to help with chores such as childcare or meals. Identify committed friends who might be willing to help with specific tasks on a regular basis. Performing tasks, such as picking up the kids from school, grocery shopping or refilling prescriptions, can reduce stress and provide comfort.
Check on a friend or relative as time passes; they will need support and presence, in the weeks and months to come, after others have retreated. Periodic check-ins can be helpful through the first two years after death, or big life changes.
Be sensitive to holidays and special occasions. For someone grieving a death, certain days may be more difficult and can magnify the sense of loss, such as anniversaries and birthdays. Some people may want to be with family and friends, while others may wish to avoid traditions and try something new.
Extend an invitation to someone who might otherwise spend time alone during these occasions, and recognize they may or may not accept your offer.
There are multiple community resources available to help those who are grieving a loss, including the Chippewa County Grief Education Guidance Team, which provides an ongoing grief support group. Meetings are held the second and fourth Mondays of each month, from 6:30 to 8 p.m., in the St. Clare Conference Room on the first floor of St. Joseph’s Hospital.
