Furnace exhaust and a snow facial

– Time For A Tiara: Column by Ginna Young –

It’s beyond me, how something that conducts heat, can freeze over. For example, the furnace pipe on the outside of the house.

Like I said, you’d think since heat exhaust comes out of it, it would be clear, but no, that darn pipe ices over. The colder it gets, the more it ices. That’s a battle I fight every year, when the temperature drops below freezing.

The condensation drips off the pipe, forming stalagmites pushing up in a big ice bulb from the ground. Sometimes – and I have yet to determine what conditions prompt it – icicles form from the pipe opening to make stalactites.

If the stalagmites and stalactites meet, or one or the other touches the ground, or pipe, respectively, the exhaust will back-up, and could cause a fire and build-up of carbon monoxide fumes.

So, I have to go knock over the ice bulbs, kick them over or if it’s really cold, beat them to pieces with a hammer.

It’s kind of a chore, since I might have to do that twice a day. On a rare weekend when I don’t have anything going on, when the cold is too bad, I don’t dare sleep late, for fear too much ice formed overnight.

When we’ve had a lot of snow, it’s also hard to get to the pipe, even though it’s right beside the back porch. With gigantic snow piles, it can be very... challenging... to say the least.

How challenging? Well, remember the Blizzard Warning that was issued just as Christmas rolled around? So do I, for multiple reasons.

One reason, was that stinking furnace pipe.

We’d already had a couple feet of snow that hadn’t melted, so the snow piled there by the steps was at least hip deep. The night before we were expected to get hammered with 50 mph winds, I came home from work and a meeting, and noticed that the ice was built up, not as much as it could be, but enough I shouldn’t ignore it.

With those high winds coming (which never did get here), I sure didn’t want to be outside stumbling around in a blizzard. Hey, I’ve read the Little House on the Prairie series a zillion times, I ain’t taking any chances on getting lost outside!

Anyway, I locked up the car, trudged in the house, left my camera bag and purse, along with car keys and phone, just inside the door and went back out to take care of the ice build-up. It’s a good thing I did, based on what happened next.

I probably should have put boots on to tramp through the hip-high snow, but my feet had been wet all day, as I slogged through unshoveled/ plowed snow. What would it hurt at this point? And I didn’t intend to wear my jeans after I got in the house; the wet pants could go right in the wash when I went in.

So, I carefully eased off the steps into the deep snow. Now, I’m not the most coordinated person in the world anyway, but I’d like to think I can walk straight. Yeah, guess not.

I floundered around for a few steps, then lost my balance and my footing at the same time. You know how people on TV wildly wave their arms and flail them around, trying to keep themselves from falling? I did that.

It didn’t work. I toppled forward, face-first into the snow. Since I was face-down in the cold, wet powder, I couldn’t see what happened around me, but I imagine snow flew up all around me. It must have, from the large indentation I made in the snow.

By the time I got to my feet, kicked over the ice formation and shambled into the house, I was soaking wet, from head to toe. My coat, my gloves, my aforementioned jeans, of course, my shoes and socks, even my shirt I wore under my coat, were sopped.

In fact, the only stitch of clothing that didn’t need to be changed or dried out, was my underwear! Even my hair was drenched, as were my glasses.

Even though the blizzard never came to pass, it did bring about me stomping down a path to get to the furnace pipe for easy(ier) access. While we had some above freezing temperatures over the last week and some of the snow has melted, we also had more inches of snow/slush, so I think my path is probably filled in again.

It’s been nice not to have to worry about the ice forming on the furnace pipe the last couple weeks, but I know it won’t stay like this the rest of the winter. So, if you see me staggering around in the snow or lying prone in the wet, cold yard, you’ll know what the heck is going on.

I don’t recommend a snow facial like I had, though. Too harsh on your face when the chapped skin peels off.